Sunday, April 10, 2011

If we could talk again

As a young child, I was fortunate to grow up in a strong, tight-knit family. Sometimes a little too close for comfort. Everyone always knew everyone's business and I guarantee that has not changed one bit.

The family motto, and when I speak of family I mean my mother's side of the family, is "family is all you have." When my sister and I would fight, my grandmother would lovingly counsel us with these words: "You and your sister need to stop fighting. You are all each other has. Remember that." Remember it, I did.

My immediate family is growing smaller and the way in which that makes my heart hurt is almost unbearable. My grandparent's are both passed away. My grandfather leaving us recently at the beginning of March. March was a trying month.

As ridiculous as this may sound, I am still grieving the loss of my grandparents. They meant so much to me and sister. We were raised in their house, by their rules, by their culture and by their love. I wish so badly that I could talk to them. I wish so badly that my mother could spend a little more time with them. The pain my mother is going through hurts me so much.

The only thing that gets me through these difficult times, aside from friends and family, is my belief in the unknown. I have to believe that there is a new life beyond this life and that we will all be together again as a family. If I didn't believe in "eternity", this life for me would be a very, very sad life. I just cannot believe that when our physical life ends, that's it. There has to be more.

I want to close this blog with words to my grandparents-
I am sorry for not calling you or visiting as much I should have. I was selfish. I'm sorry that I did not know how to really say goodbye when I saw you both for the last time. The right words escaped me then and escape me now. I miss you both so much and I wish you could be here to meet your great grandchild in the flesh. I know that he would give you so much joy. Thank you for everything and your never ending love. I love you both dearly.

It's easy to be hateful and forget to share love with those around us. Let us be vigilant in sharing our love with the people in our lives-frequently and daily.

Until next time.

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